I will be adding old blogs/articles from my old site and writing new articles in the coming days. Here is a popular one from a couple years ago AND NEW ones as well.
Narcissistic Mothers Disorder & the long term effects on daughters
I don’t have time for the long post I intend to write on this subject but after speaking with another client, with chronic health problems, PCOS and low self esteem I want to bring this mental condition up to my clients.
Narcissistic Mothers Disorder, a mental illness almost impossible to treat because its almost impossible for a Narcissists to realize they are in fact, a narcissist. Now, Narcissistic Mothers raising daughters is a recipe for disaster and I experienced it first hand.
You’re never good enough. Your feelings, thoughts, wants, desires don’t matter. You’re not a person, your someone elses property. Everything is your fault and you’ve probably never heard the words “im sorry” come from your mothers lips. She may be over controlling or detached and either way, your worthless.
Many of you know how certain emotions or experiences or traumas create illness and many of you have gone through the process of healing from a certain issue with me, and may remember how I connect certain syndromes or illnesses with certain life experiences.
Many of you with PCOS know that my theory is it has a lot to do with GUILT and MOM.
As someone who used to have PCOS and am “cured” though they say its “incurable” i have a lot of experience in this area.
It goes further…..
We all want a mom…..many are best friends with their mothers & that is such a blessing.
Our mothers teach us everything in most cases, we learn from them what it means to be a woman…how to be a woman…how to feel about ourselves, our bodies…We watch our moms and learn everything about the world and life and how it works, whether we realize it or not.
Some mothers and daughters have very complex relationships or even terrible relationships, at worst, abusive.
Some mothers are there, but they aren’t “moms”.
I spent my life searching for my mothers approval. Instead I was at 7 she was putting me on diets bc I got chubby though wasn’t allowed to eat anything.
I had no mind or opinion…..I was an extension of her.
Until I was 21I thought it was normal to get diet pills in my Easter basket growing up. To have to wear the same two outfits every day of the week…
To have to return every xmas and bday present because it was meant for older ladies and for her to use the exchange for clothes for herself.
To be offered money to work out more often.
I often found “moms” in my friends mothers, in my adult years in my boyfriends mothers.
It was a friends mom who first picked up a pair of tweezers at 15 and said “its time to pluck your eyebrows honey.”
It was a friends mom who first put make-up on me, and told me I was beautiful. Made me feel beautiful, Deborah Cadoux.
She is who I went to about everything in highschool.
It was my Monica, my sons paternal grandmother, who held my hand while I gave birth to my son. She was the one who took me shopping for maternity clothes…for the 5 years I dated her son, she was the only mother to give me a birthday or Christmas present.
The last 2 years its been Alex’s mom, who hugs me when I cry and tells me she loves me, in the way only a mother can hug you and say i love you.
Shes the mom that picks up the phone when I call. After I had Miles, they blocked my number.
What happened to my mom?
Its a long story, but, growing up with my mom was growing up with guilt trips. I ruined everything…I got in the way of her work, her life. And I was her puppet, I was simply to eat what she told me to eat, do as she said & that was that. If i deviated from her control I was a horrible person….and at 25 when I decided to order what I wanted from a menu, not what she said I must order, the end of any relationship began.
When I refused to abort Miles, like she wanted, she was so furious it was the end of what mother daughter relationship we had.
There are two types of NM mothers, engulfing or detached.
Last year after years of extreme irrational behavior mixed with periods of estrangement, i googled my mothers behavior thinking ‘there has to be something wrong with her mentally, this isnt normal.”
Sure enough this syndrome came up and it was like a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders.
There was an exact description of my mom right before me and a mental disorder very hard to treat.
How does a narcissist realize they are a narcissist?
After speaking with a client tonight with a similar story, she googled NM and texted what a relief it was to have an answer.
After a lifetime of thinking your unlovable if your own mother doesn’t love you, its important to realize its not you.
Its not you.
I encourage looking it up if you’ve had a problem relationship with your mother and for the majority of your life was made to feel worthless, ugly, stupid and filled with guilt.
If you were never heard or allowed to be your own person.
Just knowing helps a lot. Its not you, you deserve the world….you just happened to be raised by someone who wasn’t capable of giving you the love you deserve.
usually, these mothers had mothers exactly the same and swore not to become them.
My mom swore she would never become like her mom, and is 10X worse.
I’ve broken the cycle. And so will you. Love your child unconditionally……
I was loved under ‘conditions,’ Thats not real love…..once you can recognize and begin healing, you will learn to love yourself unconditionally which is what matters most..
NEW BLOG FEB 13, 2012
Can’t force love
I had an interesting session today with someone that called me out of the blue insisting we speak in “4 minutes.” I could tell this man was very very intense and I had just woken up but thought “hey, I want all the business in the world why not.” I agreed and just asked for enough time to run his card and make a cup of coffee.
8 minutes passed, not 4. He was agitated. We began the session in the chat room (before hand I explained how my readings work, what I get, about Manifesting, Theta, etc etc.) and oh boy!!!! What an experience!
I dont know if I ever fully answered one question because I don’t think I was ever given a chance to.
Before he even finished a question within the first 3 sentences of my answer I was interrupted.
Basically this man had his heart broken 3 weeks ago when the girl he thought was his soul mate suddenly dumped him. He could not accept this.
I immediately got that she coudlnt’t handle him (nor could I), she’d met someone else, she was over it. Period. She hadn’t called since.
Ladies, if we like a guy, do we call?
Meanwhile he was hiring 4 different healers to work on her without her permission (which I find unethical and will not do) to make him love her again.
We agreed our styles did not connect and left our conversation at that.
The truth is, love can hurt.
And love is the best feeling in the world.
I got my heartbroken yesterday after realizing the man ive spent two years with just isn’t healthy for me.
Love is the most pure and powerful emotion in the universe
- love does not degrade, demaean and threaten
- love does not constantly uncessearily blame others for mistakes they did not make
- love does not taunt or swear at
and finallly, love is the opposite of MALICIOUSNESS, which is what I found often in my partner
So to all of you, remember what love is, I may be alone now…..But I accept it unlike this client of mine
I deserve the best. And I deserve love
The Story of You
Don Miguel Ruiz
Who is the authentic you?
FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS humans have tried to understand the universe, nature, and mainly human nature. It’s amazing to observe humans in action all around the world, in all the different places and cultures that exist on this beautiful planet Earth. Humans make a lot of effort to understand, but in doing so we also make a lot of assumptions. We distort the truth and create the most amazing theories; we create entire philosophies and the most amazing religions; we create stories and superstitions about everything, including ourselves. And this is exactly the main point: We create them.
Humans are born with the power of creation, and we are constantly creating stories with the words that we learned. Every one of us uses the word to form our opinions, to express our point of view. Countless events are happening all around us, and using our attention, we have the capacity to put all these events together in a story. We create the story of our own life, the story of our family, the story of our community, the story of our country, the story of humanity, the story of the entire world. Every one of us has a story that we share, a message that we deliver to ourselves, and to everyone and everything around us.
You were programmed to deliver a message, and the creation of that message is your greatest art. What is the message? Your life. With that message, you create mainly the story of you, and then a story about everything you perceive. You create an entire virtual reality in your mind, and you live in that reality. When you think, you’re thinking in your language; you’re repeating in your mind all those words that mean something to you. You’re giving yourself a message, and that message is the truth for you because you believe that it’s the truth.
The story of you is everything that you know about you. And when I say this, I’m talking to you, knowledge, what you believe you are, not to you, the human, what you really are. As you can see, I make a distinction between you and you because one of you is real, and one of you is not real. You, the physical human, are real; you are the truth. You, knowledge — you’re not real; you’re virtual. You only exist because of the agreements you made with yourself and with the other humans around you. You, knowledge, come from the words you hear in your head, from all the opinions of the people you love, the people you don’t love, the people you know, and mostly the people you’ll never know.
Who is talking in your head? You make the assumption that it’s you. But if you are the one who is talking, then who is listening? You, knowledge, are the one who is talking in your head, telling you what you are. You, the human, are listening, but you, the human, existed long before you had knowledge. You existed long before you understood all those words, before you learned to speak, and just like any child before he or she learns to speak, you were completely authentic. You didn’t pretend to be what you are not. Without even knowing it, you trusted yourself completely; you loved yourself completely. Before you learned knowledge, you were totally free to be what you really are because all those opinions and stories from other humans were not in your head already.
Your mind is full of knowledge, but how are you using that knowledge? How are you using the word when it comes to describing yourself? When you look at yourself in a mirror, do you like what you see, or do you judge your body and use all those words to tell yourself lies? Is it really true that you are too short or too tall, too heavy or too thin? Is it really true that you are not beautiful? Is it really true that you’re not perfect just the way you are?
Can you see all the judgments that you have about yourself? Every judgment is just an opinion — it’s just a point of view — and that point of view wasn’t there when you were born. Everything you think about yourself, everything you believe about yourself, is because you learned it. You learned the opinions from Mom, Dad, siblings, and society. They sent all those images of how a body should look; they expressed all those opinions about the way you are, the way you are not, the way you should be. They delivered a message, and you agreed with that message. And now you think so many things about what you are, but are they the truth?
You see, the problem is not really knowledge; the problem is believing in a distortion of knowledge — and that is what we call a lie. What is the truth, and what is the lie? What is real, and what is virtual? Can you see the difference, or do you believe that voice in your head every time it speaks and distorts the truth while assuring you that what you believe is the way things really are? Is it really true that you’re not a good human, and that you’ll never be good enough? Is it really true that you don’t deserve to be happy? Is it really true that you’re not worthy of love?
Once you learn a language, you can use the word to judge yourself according to everything that you know. That’s when you become the good human, the bad human, the guilty one, the crazy one, the powerful one, the weak one, the beautiful one, the ugly one. You are what you believe you are. Then the first question is: “What do you believe you are?”
If you use your awareness, you will see everything you believe, and this is how you live your life. Your life is totally dominated by the system of beliefs that you learned. Whatever you believe is creating the story that you’re experiencing; whatever you believe is creating the emotions that you’re experiencing. And you may really want to believe that you are what you believe, but that image is completely false. It’s not the real you.
The real you is unique and it’s beyond everything that you know, because the real you is the truth. You, the human, are the truth. Your physical presence is real. What you believe about yourself is not real, and it’s not important unless you want to create a better story for yourself. Truth or fiction; either way, the story that you’re creating is a work of art. Words are your paintbrush, and your life is the canvas. You can paint whatever you want to paint; you can even copy another artist’s work — but what you express with your paintbrush is the way you see yourself, the way you see the entire reality. What you paint is your life, and how it looks will depend on how you are using the word. When you realize this, it may dawn on you that the word is a powerful tool for creation. When you learn to use that tool with awareness, you can make history with the word. What history? Your life’s history, of course. The story of you.
© Miguel Angel Ruiz, M.D., Jose Luis Ruiz, and Janet Mills
Reprinted by Permission of Amber-Allen Publishing, Inc., San Rafael, California
Don Miguel Ruiz was born into a family of healers, but chose to attend medical school and become a surgeon. Visit: www.MiguelRuiz.com
Don Jose Ruiz was born and raised in Mexico, and at the age of 21, he came to the United States to live and study with his father, don Miguel Ruiz (teacher and bestselling author of The Four Agreements). Don Jose lectures widely across the United States and at sacred sites around the world.
Recognizing and Communicating with Angels
By Elisabeth Smith
How are you all? How did you’re manifesting go? I got some amazing emails from some of you who were offered new jobs–met boyfriends or found money within days of my post–and everyone had the same story about how “out of the blue” the phone call about the job was & how perfect yet odd the situation that came to them was. I was thrilled–and reminded to do manifesting for myself –I get so busy I forget to do it but I’m the one talking about how great it is! It can work for you positively or negatively–whatever you are vibrating–you will receive.
So anyways-this month I wanted to talk about Angels.
Angels are a topic I love but haven’t always known much about or done much work with. I have been reading up on Angels and thought I’d share some information on Angels that I not only found to be interesting but-but also believable-as this type of information is usually greeted with skepticism…Its information I could verify for myself as being true or making sense–and I thought maybe it would resonate with you too.
I have seen some things in my house lately that made me start thinking about angels…We used to joke that we have a ghost-a nice ghost-who seems to be here to- misplace my boyfriends things (angel with a sense of humor-it is funny to watch him searching) or to swing in Miles’s swing/sit on the couch and/or take items from the center of a table that are still and make them fly off and land in various places. We would comment on our nice ghost until I realized–maybe its an angel? A somewhat new duplex in San Diego just doesn’t scream “ghost” to me-and there is nothing scary about this presence….An Angel willnever feel creepy–while a ghost may.
Then I remembered how I would go see my old spiritual counsellor Dorothy-she would talk about how when I came over the room was filled with spirit guides, angels and animals. She would point to the open seat next to me on the couch–and say– “Elisabeth-see how that cushion is indented? Its because Angel ” ” is sitting next to you–” or her cat would freak out and she would mention how many beings were in the room. Ummmmm to be honest—I thought she was either full of it–off her rocker–or trying to make me feel good about myself at the time…..But now I find myself recalling things she said and finding it to correspond to other information I’m learning about Angels or to just be something I ignored then but seems significant now.
S0-what are some signs of Angels being around? Well we all have Angels & Spirit Guides that are there with us while we live our lives. Sometimes we have more-if we invoke them or ask for their help. An important lesson in working with Angels & asking for divine guidance is that Angels will not help you or assist you unless you ask for it-its considered meddling otherwise, unless it is a near death experience and then there is a different way of letting them assist you. So-if you want to know more about your angels or want their help with a certain problem-make sure you let them know you WANT their help! I was stunned when I read this–Whoops~ I assumed they just “knew” when I wanted help. I read this last week in one of Doreen Virtues books–an expert and author on Angels who I highly recommend.
Sighs of Angelic Presences:
1. Indentation on the couch or the seat is already warm like someone was just sitting on it-but no one was
2. Seeing flickering lights or flashes
3. Smelling wafts of smoke or of flowers when there are none of either around
4. Watch your animals-If you feel a presence in the room and your pets are acting funny and almost looking at people-chances are there are Angels or Spirit Guides around
5. Finding Feathers-Feathers are messages from Angels
Your Guardian Angels & Their Purpose:
We all have Guardian Angels-some of us have 1 some have more than 1. Some clairvoyants are good at seeing who your angels are and what their purpose is. I enjoyed doing this when I learned Theta. How would you know what you may have an angel for? I was surprised by the range of purposes they have–but,, is there a specific incident that’s happened to you multiple times–that could go very badly–but suddenly changes course with almost a miracle saving you–and it turns out fine or great in the end? You might have an angel who protects you from ______fill in whatever is your experience. I was SHOCKED at what one of mine was but it makes sense…
During my first Theta Healing Class I was told by the teacher I had 3 Guardian Angels with me at all times….She said I had one above my head-two above each shoulder. I loved hearing about the purpose of each one–and was shocked when she told me one was there to keep me safe from…….–OK you ready? Creepy men. Yep. Creepy Men. She was stern-and older, my teacher said –and gave them a swift kick if they looked at me funny or wanted me inappropriately apparently. The Angel told my teacher that because of my openness & empathic skills-and being young to be that developed but also seeming older than I am—I attracted a lot of “Weirdos”—SO TRUE! I attract so many weirdos–anyways, and she said that I often have men that are too old or just bad people having impure desires or thoughts about me- This Angel is there there to shoo them away or protect me from their thoughts and from them having any effect on me-and protect me from their energy. At first– I laughed-thinking that was weird–and funny–then I remembered how many scary or close encounters I had had with strange men following me–or harassing me–& how terrified I was but how I always was saved at the last second in a mysterious way. Just last night I had a man approach me in the parking lot of 711–oh my I have chills–whose energy was sooooo horrible, I felt sick….The cashier at 7-11 came out instantly and told him she was calling the police. I guess he had been banned and I can see why. So-I guess it does make sense–I can think of a couple examples of this being true for me:
….I had a stalker when I was 15 & freaked out when I saw him steps behind me late at night around Mission Beach. I ran from store to store hiding and he followed me…A family on vacation asked me if I was OK and we called the cops & I never saw him again. Days before this-he had approached me while I was walking home from the grocery store. I started running and running and every block I ran down-he seemed to be at the bottom waiting for me…I finally knocked on peoples houses screaming & one house had a loud dog that began barking when I knocked & he disappeared….
I had two other incidents that come to mind-these two while on vacation with my parents–once I was 12, once I was 15. I had two occasions where waiters at the hotel I was staying at got a key to my room and let themselves in at a time they had seen my parents leave but knew I was still up there. Needless to say–I was terrified–I feel sick just thinking of how I felt then, especially when I was 12. He had seemed like a nice guy, this waiter, but not someone I ever considered in that way–I mean I was 12 and he was at least in his mid-twenties-it would have never crossed my mind that someone that old could like me. He opened the door- shut the door behind him and came towards me…And started saying things I did not want to hear–when—although I had watched him shut the door & watched it click shut (my heart sank when it did)-all of the sudden, when he walked towards me–It FLEW OPEN on its own. A manager happened to be walking by–and see this waiter–and I yelled that I didn’t want my ice cream anymore (that’s what he brought to my room.) The waiter ran out and I never saw him again. The second time-my mom had left to go to do something but turned around on her way and came back to the room. She was none to pleased to find this guy in the room only moments after he came in, I told her he just let himself in and he was fired the same day.
How Your Angels May Communicate with You:
I’m sure many of you have had near death experiences maybe where you KNOW that some sort of being was there to help you. I know I have. I can think of 3-4 car accidents where I should have died and even though when these happened–I didn’t believe in all this stuff–I remember commenting to friends afterwards “OH MY GOD I could almost see the Angels guide my car to safety and move the other cars out of my way”–it was an odd thing for me to say every time…I also remember that my friends said every time “I am so glad you were driving-there is no way I would have kept the car under control had I been driving and we’d be dead.” They don’t realize they have angels too-and that it probably wasn’t my driving skills but the fact that I listened to my angels.
You know when you are in a Panic–lets say–fishtailing across 5 lanes of traffic on a busy freeway in Southern California on New Years Eve-and you cant get the brakes to work & its pouring rain and you are just spinning across lanes of traffic screaming–then see you are heading over the edge of the freeway and about to fall 50 feet onto another freeway. That type of panic–So I try stepping on the brakes–using the e-brake–turning the wheel–NOTHING–still going off the edge…Then you have a moment where a voice tells you to do something–and you either do it, or you don’t. that moment between life or death—and if you are alive–you’ve chosen to listen to your angels. Suddenly I stopped panicking-turned my wheel to the left while braking and the car suddenly stopped inches from the edge. I peered around me–we had both had our eyes covered for most of it–I was hunched over protecting myself because every second I braced myself to get smashed by a car–and smashed by another–and another–and when we flew across the 163 b back and forth I was shocked we weren’t getting hit. When we peered around–we saw that the entire side of our free way was EMPTY-except for a huge group of hundreds, thousands of cars–approaching us-and where we’d been fishtailing–but the entire freeway had been cleared in front of us and behind us for a good minute or two prior to this-and these cars coming all started in a perfect line—with no stray ones out of a perfect line anywhere.
The instructions you get when in a sticky situation ,where you are in panic mode, are instructions from your angels telling you how you can live. It is characterized by time slowing down-and the answer coming to you out of nowhere and you gaining this sudden strength to finish or fix whatever is going wrong…..And a miraculous ending.
Now-we don’t want to see our angels if these are the times we see them–near death? NO FUN!
This same concept applies when asking for help with ANYTHING. Can you think of a time you were crying or upset and said “God-what do I do?” or “What do I do?” or “How could this get better”……Did you stop to listen to your answer? Because I bet you got one! I can remember getting an answer soooo many times now–and ignoring it–because I wanted to wallow a little longer lol….
My idea to make my website was given to me by angels. I had just had back surgery and was miserable in every-way and in so much pain–I didn’t know how I could keep living in pain …I was crying and begging for help when I got “make a website. Practice connecting long-distance.”
Now this didn’t seem like it would help with my chronic pain and other situations I was upset about–but I listened….And I made a site offering free readings in exchange for letting me practice connecting……And….Here we are–its turned into something much more than I thought it would be-a career and something that makes me very happy–and I am no longer in any pain and have had a baby since then too-this was 1.5 years ago.
Listen to those strange ideas that come to you–or hunches you have. I think many people ignore anything that doesn’t seem obvious or that seems kinda different. When you are in traffic and say out loud “which way should I go” and you get the name of a street or freeway–follow it! Listen to that little voice…ESPECIALLY if you ask for help…Follow your intuition and listen to that little voice inside your head–it might be an angel!
Another way is through signs–has a song been stuck in your head for a few hours? What is it about? Do you keep seeing the same numbers or dates everywhere you go? Most likely a sign from your Angels or Spirit Guides.
So–for you to try this week…1st: I’d like you to think if you can come up with any of the purposes one of your Guardian Angels may be here for….Don’t worry about how odd it may sound–Look at mine! LOL
Second: Ask your angels for help with whatever is bothering you or confusing you at that time. Say out loud that you request their assistance with ________ & then wait for a minute or two and notice what thoughts cross your mind….Write them down. Also-keep an eye on anything repetitive you notice in your life the next couple days–and see if it could be help from your Angels or Spirit Guides.
I’d love to hear your results if you want to post here or on my page-Lovelightandinsight.net
Thanks Again! Have a great week!
Manfesting 101 by Elisabeth Smith
I am Elisabeth-the Psychic, Medium and Empath
who runs Lovelightandinsight.net. I am so happy to be writing here-and want to thank Cheri for the invitation.
Random events have prevented me being able to post this on the 30th as planned-though I had it basically finished and emailed it to Cheri as a draft–life had other plans keeping me away from a computer since Friday. Since everything works in divine timing-I will assume this information is most needed now- so here I am!
I wanted to offer more insight and information regarding manifesting and some different approaches on making it work for you–which also can relate to making predictions come true. I have had an interesting journey with manifesting–from seeing it work instantly–in the most incredible ways–to seeing it work in reverse and almost giving up–to finding a better method and seeing results for not only me–but my clients too.
As Cheri mentioned-I’ve had a lot of good luck with manifesting
in the past week especially-and within 4 days of putting a request out for 1,000$ I had in total received almost 5,000$ in the strangest ways. Though I didn’t get to keep all of it (it was put in my account though)–the total I did keep was around 1,000$ and ended up being very important -and just what I had ordered!
You Know The Basics: Most Important Rule-Your Thoughts
There are many ways to manifest and & Cheri mentioned a couple ways that are great. Use whatever works for you and if its not working anymore-there is a reason. I’m guessing anyone who has tried this in the past may have had times when manifesting seems to work almost effortlessly–or maybe has never had much luck with it. There are many different ways to manifest-but no matter what you do-the key to seeing what you desire manifest itself in your life is based on ONE thing-your thoughts.
When I learned to manifest from a spiritual healer I used to see who specialized in” Co-Creation” as she called it-I was told the usual rules of the Law of Attraction that you are all probably familiar with about like attracting like and positivity attracting more positivity and vice versa.
I was blown away–and coming out of years of depression and wallowing in thoughts about the past-and guilt and thinking negatively about myself in every way possible. I didn’t realize that my thoughts could even control my metabolism–and that maybe if I stopped saying “I have to have such a strict diet to be thin-my body gains weight so easily” and reversed it-my body would listen!
The Method I First Learned: Make Lists!
The way I was taught to manifest -which is also a good lesson in figuring out what you really want in life- is through making Lists. I learned all the basics about our thoughts, and affirmations-but was also taught to make lists about everything-the job I want, boyfriend, life, family life-everything was helped by a list of what my ideal _____ (fill in the blank) would look like. She taught me to always make a detailed list of what I want-and write or say what I want in life in the present tense-so, if you want to be wealthy you write (and/or say) “I am wealthy” rather than “I will be wealthy”, or “I want to be wealthy.” The wording and verb is important in each sentence-so never use a sentence with a negative like “I don’t want to be poor”-any sentence containing the word you don’t & want to be like. This will bring you more of that into your life and it’s easy to forget or get mixed up with your wording-and is the most common mistake I see- saying “I don’t want to be broke-I don’t want to be sick” etc-are ways in which the world keeps themselves broke and sick. Look at the way you say your sentences-this is very
important–saying “I want to be wealthy” or “I need money” will keep you always in a state of
wanting or needing money-which is not what you want.
My First List: Instant Success! How:
Writing this out carefully–and becoming better at naturally saying things in the positive are the first step. The first thing I tried to attract was my “divine complement”- as my instructor called the right partner. She taught me to list every little thing I could ever want–nothing is too specific or silly or superficial-and be as detailed as possible. I started out with a very vague list like, “We enjoy doing the same things together” and made it into a very detailed list “My divine compliment’s family and I love each other very much,” ” My divine compliment and I go on fun trips together all the time and travel-whether it’s a weekend get-away or trip overseas,” “He is a great listener and interested in everything I have to say,” “He is interested in the world and cultured, open minded and loves people-with total acceptance and love for all races, sexuality, and cultures,” “He loves me for me-no matter what weight I am or how good I look-he loves ME.”
I wrote about 50 other characteristics-including characteristics about education, political beliefs, lifestyle-you name it. Part of the point of the list is to keep you from dating guys who aren’t good enough–or from accepting a job that doesn’t reward you for your talents-etc etc. The list is important to go through and have as a guideline when you meet someone and if they don’t have most of these things- you know he’s not the right person.
Well I made my list-put it on my dresser and let it go. I had not had a real relationship in years-or maybe-ever-looking back lol-this was in 2005 and I am with the person I met 2weeks later today and we have a 6 month old son, Miles.
I don’t know if he is my true divine compliment-but he has EVERY little characteristic on that list. His family loves me and we are really close. Within the first year of our relationship I was taken to Costa Rica, St. Johns and Hawaii (I didn’t spend a penny on any of them-one was with Bart-2 with his whole family )and he is the best listener ive ever met. He remembers things I told him years ago that I don’t even remember and could tell you what I ate for dinner 2 weeks ago Tuesday. Like I said- Although after 4 years I’m not sure if he is my divine compliment, but part of the point of the list is to realize what you want and don’t want-so you stop settling and have a guideline for your future and your first list is rarely the right one. The funny thing is- every imperfection or problem in our relationship-or traits I could do without-are characteristics I did not put on my list-and I have a better idea of what I want if there is a next time.
This way of manifesting helps you manifest the RIGHT things. Because there is a saying, “be careful what you wish for-because it might come true” and often we aren’t really sure what we want and bring the wrong things to ourselves because we don’t have a good guideline or idea of what we want and what we can tolerate-or not tolerate in any situation. No person or job or or bestfriend will have EVERYTHING on your list–but if you have a history of dating men who are controlling, who are self-centered with relatives that are impossible to get along with-and you find someone who seems controlling-you know it’s not worth your time. Now if he has most of your characteristics but his mother is difficult and he leaves his socks all over the house–but he is a great cook just like you wanted–you’re on the right track. This list can be used for any topic-and put whatever you want no matter how detailed.Results: 100% success
I did a list for a boyfriend, a different job at my company at the time and for the new apartment/house of my dreams at that time ( for a beginner-it was a 400 square foot studio apartment in the location I wanted-which was difficult to find a place in for the right price)and I met my current partner and I found the apartment I wanted in the best location-and I was chosen for the apartment when over 50 people applied for one spot. I was also offered a job in Human Resources at UCSD within a week of that list- with the pay, people and work environment I requested. Each detail was fulfilled-the proximity to the beach with the apartment-the unconditional love from my boyfriend- down to my request that “My co-workers are fun to be around and I am always appreciated and thanked for what I do-no matter how small (because my old job I was not) a task I complete.”
I literally–would hide my giggles and laughs at my new job- because my boss would thank me for something simple–like making copies-over and over..It was at the degree that–you would think I had just won The Nobel Peace prize for making 100 copies. .And though it was a temporary job they liked me so much they offered me extra months, I made 2 close friends and when I left they threw me a huge farewell party even though I was just a temp who had been there a few months. In Marketing, my old job, (this was right out of college) they paid me $12.18 an hour-I requested my new job pay 13.50$ or more–within a week I was offered the HR position which paid $14.00. My first week there–My now boyfriend–asked me on our first date and came to have lunch with me on Valentine’s Day. I shared details with my 2 new friends-who made work a blast even though it was mundane work-and was so much happier. It was a life changing period in my life.
I can honestly say-the time in my life when I learned the secrets of the law of Attraction-(this was way before the Secret) and how the universe works -led to one of the best times of my life.
When using the lists–Manifestations happened almost instantly!! Then I got comfy…
Problems I ran into:
As we tend to do–we get comfortable–life was good and I stopped trying to manifest as much or manage my thoughts.
I was happy…and stopped trying very often-for a while I felt like my manifestations stalled. A year later I began trying again but only once things were going wrong-and I was so obsessed with things changing- I worried about the issues I wanted to improve and It seemed like the more I tried to attract money the less money I had-I tried to manifest it every day and worried constantly.
More on this later, but be sure to state your intention and let it go, focusing too much or worrying about anything- whether it’s a prediction or manifestation will cancel it or push it further away because you are covering it with doubt. So when you have a prediction or reading-by I-or Cheri-or anybody-be sure to accept the predictions and be excited for them but not worry about it happening. If you get a bfp month of December-do NOT count the days till December and worry constantly about conception-and whether that will be “the month”.
That is the best way to cancel or delay a prediction. State your desire-or write it-like “I am pregnant-and carrying a healthy happy baby-at the perfect time-we welcome this baby into our lives and trust in divine timing.” Affirm you are pregnant in divine timing–and that you trust the universe to bring you your child in the best way for you both-because when babies come is often more up to them-then you-but that is for another time.
A New Method of Manifesting: After falling-Getting back up….
After my year of bliss-most of 2006- which began with my manifestations for a relationship, new job and cheap apartment in the best location happening immediately into the year- I got comfortable. For a while-I felt invincible. I even lost 25 lbs eating what I wanted- and not working out every day-and after a 10 year struggle with PCOS-it was gone. Still- I fell back to old habits and stopped working so hard on my thoughts. In September 2006–I developed a bad kidney infection-over that Christmas-I was really sick. In February 2007-I broke my back. I spent all of 2007 with a broken back in horrific pain–and I went from the happiest time in my life to the worst very fast. A year with a broken back while still going to school-working–then major spine surgery-and a 2 year recovery (I’m all better though-healed fast)-including a pregnancy-(with not one break-ever-baby was born 4-29-09)-was a very difficult time. I didn’t take any time off-I somehow stayed in my year-round grad-program which is a very demanding medical program. I started my site shortly after I had back surgery-and achieved a lot of success while dealing with all this-including having a baby a little over a year after having metal plates and screws put into my lumbar spine and being unable to walk.
I had fallen off the manifesting wagon-all I felt was pain. All I thought about was pain–chronic pain ruins lives–and I can honestly say–It almost took mine away completely. I almost didn’t believe anymore in any of this anymore-my manifesting was NOT working. I needed a new approach.
How did I manage?
I became a Theta Healing Practitioner in 2007-to try and help my recovery from back surgery. It is a modality based on training yourself to get into the Theta Wave brain state which makes you more aware, intuitive and makes healings and manifestations more likely to happen -even in an instant. My friend encouraged me to do a 3 day workshop–I was hooked–and did more. I had an instant talent for it and it’s changed my life
The statistics I have found for manifesting with Theta are,
“The spoken word is effective 30-40% of the time Visualizing is effective 50% of the time Theta wave manifesting is effective 80-90% of the time (www. thetahealing.com).”
This explains the instant and amazing changes clients see after a session and I’ve found Theta to be amazingly effective even done long distance-I’ve never met any of my clients and they see manifestations -like their husband being willing to discuss children-or job offers, etc within an hour of a live session.
In the craziness of this year I realized last weekend I hadn’t done Theta on myself in months. Last weekend I decided to try, and did things a little differently since my old attempts for myself had seemed to stall-at one point in 2006 I had ATM machines giving me extra 20′s without charging me-to big financial stress from medical bills, back surgery, and my partner losing his job. The worst things became-the harder I tried to manifest money and it had not worked very well because I felt so badly like I needed it to work. Feeling NEEDY creates more need-I gave up.
I had almost stopped believing in manifesting for myself-the last couple years I had major financial setbacks which is when I started trying to manifest more money-it was like my manifesting made it worse. I stopped all together and haven’t tried to manifest any money this entire year-but I have trusted I’ll always be ok–and be taken care of overall-and I have been. Although I haven’t tried to manifest a certain amount-if we are short on rent the day of–I would still trust it will appear-and it would.
Last weekend-instead of trying to manifest a million dollars like I had loved to do before (another tip-start with something more real to you) since I was taught-we can have it all-so I put out I had an extra 1000$ while in Theta, since it is rent time and I forgot all about it. I did this last Friday-first time in almost a year-forgot all about it-and on Saturday Bart (my boyfriend) calls me over to the computer with a stunned look on his face.
When he logged onto my online banking, to my checking account, it had an extra back account with my name on it–but all this money that wasn’t mine. ..I transferred 200$ to my account and it worked=it even said my phone # was the primary account holders number….Still-although a few thousand dollars suddenly appeared in my account-I had a bad feeling about this $-like it would be discovered soon and decided to hold off on using this money because bank errors like this are usually found. At the same time-I was in a bind last weekend and don’t know what I would have done if it hadn’t been available.
I left most of it in the account untouched and found out what happened this week-and though everything is fine I sure am glad I didn’t take more–but what I did take of the extra $ ended up being a life saver. The situation has been resolved now- and Next time I will make sure to specify that its money I get to KEEP.
Then-On Wednesday–something from Blue Cross arrived in the mail. They were my health insurance company until October 1st when it was cancelled and I’ve been without insurance since. Inside was a 487$ check–with no explanation! We were thrilled! I couldn’t believe it! We were overjoyed and were able to come up to San Francisco to visit Bart’s family for the weekend like we had planned-but cancelled due to cost-which enabled him to work while we were there-helping more.
The shock–The joy–The excitement-of seeing it work-was amazing!! What arrived so suddenly–was massive-how could this not be the result of manifesting?
Remember 2 Important Rules: No “HOW”s and Don’t be stingy!
In my initial great period of manifesting-2006- -money arrived with no explanation-100$ from my car insurance due to “overpayment” the year before–60$ from the atm when I asked for 40$–it happened all the time at one point-and I feel like I’m back in the right state to increase it even more.
One of the most important things to remember when doing this–is doing worry about HOW you will get money or the job or the boyfriend–People say “well where would the money come from? that can’t happen”-don’t do that–money can come from ANYWHERE-and there is plenty of it. Believe in that.
All in all-if you count what was put into my account that I could have taken but didn’t plus the check-I manifested 5,000$ in 4 days. I kept about 600$ of it-like I said the bank error is another story-but was it a coincidence? I don’t think so!
Also-when you are attracting money-spend money! Don’t be stringy-especially to other people! There is nothing that makes me crazy more than a bad tipper-or people trying to make off with free stuff.
How will anyone ever pay you the amount you want-if you don’t value anyone else’s time and want to pay them generously? Will you be paid generously-without doing the same?
I tip 20% standard at restaurants for poor service-30% for good or more-always have even before this. I’ve had 2$ in my checking account and given 1$ to a homeless person. My 2$ was my gas money-but I knew they needed it more and received $ that day. Acts like this show you trust in the universe and its abundance.
Gratitude: You can try to manifest the salary you want till the cows come home–but if you are not sharing gratitude to others for their services for you-no one will appreciate yours either-and it will block your attempts.
Asking for free stuff when you could buy it or holding onto your money too tightly sends out a bad message.
When manifesting money-SPEND $! It shows you know there is plenty to go around. Be generous-too many perpetuate lack by not tipping enough or asking for discounts because you think you doesn’t have enough. Realize all that you do which keeps you in this state-and you will not receive-till you give.
People know too-when you are trying to make off with more and will give less in return.
You are more likely to get free things by showing gratitude.
I always offer discounts to those I can tell value my time-but truly do not have the means-and need the help. I know who really can get it but is holding on–or who is trying to get me to go as many minutes over the reading as possible to see what they can get for free or some even with me saying “I have to run-we are way over and Miles is crying”-and keep asking questions hoping to squeeze more out of me.
The person who spends their money on a full price session -and appreciates it and saw how much it benefitted them-mentioned their appreciation but difficulty paying for more-and received 3 more at a huge discount-while the ones who have tried to make off without valuing my time are still looking for a job to pay them more with no luck.
Start with tipping everyone you can-even if you only have 10$ to your name-give others 3$. You are showing your faith and you get what you give-and it feels good (though maybe scary at first).
Manifesting is about pretending you already are something-to bring it to you and make it REAL.
You can’t become prosperous while being a tight-wad.
Value others and their time so others will value yours.
This applies to not just money-if you want love-give love. If you want respect-respect others.
Rejoice in everyone elses acheivements and you will see how much life can change when instead of thinking “How did she afford that car-she doesn’t deserve it” you think “How nice of her to get that car-she deserves something nice.”
My Process: Best Way to Manifest (From my experience-you will find your own) that I have found for me…Combo:
The only reason I have believed in Theta’s assistance in Manifesting-is because of what I see happen with clients. So I highly suggest making your list–and then, if you meditate or know how to get into a meditative state-do so, and say in your mind this mantra-which is what I do:
“Creator-It is commanded that I see an instant manifestation of _______ in my life now (state what it is you want–like 1000 dollars-or good health.). In the Highest and Best way (meaning make this happen in a positive way-you don’t want to get a million dollars from a car accident settlement-so you want it to be in a good way), with Ease and Grace-It is done it is done it is done-Show me (imagine this happening)- THANK YOU, Thank you, Thank you.”
Now imagine you are up above in the sky-looking down on your life. See your neighborhood–your house-your work place–imagine you have a great big arm or wand-reach down into this life you are watching from above-and create the event you want to happen. Visualize you opening the mail and finding a check-feel how you would feel-or see yourself meeting the man or woman of your dreams.
Visualizing-while in a semi Theta state (if you are mediating)-in addition to a list or even without–has had the best effects ever I have found.
I never thought I could influence a client’s husband or wife’s life for the better-or help create instant changes.
I didn’t’ realize how great Theta really was for manifesting–until I had a client who during a live session mentioned how much her husband needed a new job. He had been applying for new jobs with no response–and he had NO clients no matter what he did at the law office he worked for. On top of that–the clients he did have owed him money. I explained this to her–and recited some of the affirmations or commands for manifesting I would use for him. I suggested the list-plus positive thinking-and I did a command for them. I also told her I saw a major corporation offering him a job soon if she did this too-and that it began with Gold-and seemed like a bank that may be in Germany. At our next session a week later-not only had Gold sacks called and offered him a job interview after months of not being able to get one-but tons of clients appeared needing his services-and old ones began paying him what they owed. She was amazed! And -she didn’t even tell him about our session or the Law of Attraction-WE manifested it for him
During the session-she said she tried to be more positive the next week but didn’t’ follow the guidelines for manifesting-but somehow that session set things into motion-and it has happened COUNTLESS times-I see it almost every time with clients.
How did I affect him? Since I was in the Theta state during the session-and she wanted this for him too-it was of positive intentions and good for their family-so, it all came together. She had been worrying so much-and admitted to not smiling for months-she was sick with worry about him getting work-simply changing that changed their future.
And that is what I do in each session-and tell everyone to do-the list first-then when they are ready and open to meditating-the Theta Command.
Predictions, Readings and Manifesting
So-there are some examples on how I like to manifest and some methods you might try-with my experience with Manifesting over the course of a few years.
The list is great for any topic-and it’s also helpful to set it out somewhere where you will see it. I put my divine compliment list on my dresser with a red and pink candle next to it to represent love and attraction. For your new job-put the salary you want, how co-workers treat you, how you feel driving to work, and what city it’s in…..Nothing is too specific unless based on total superficial needs.
In terms of your predictions in readings- remember-many predictions are about things you would like to manifest in your life. #1 rule to allowing predictions and manifestations to happen is to let it go-worrying and obsessing about something you tried to manifest surrounds what you want with doubt –making it less likely to happen.
If you are ttc-why is it that everyone seems to conceive while on a “break”? Most of the time- it’s happened now because they are finally letting it. We often push away what we desire most without even realizing it-they stopped pushing it away by obsessing over it- and relaxed, allowing it to happen. Obsessing creates DOUBT in something happening-remember that!
Don’t Limit Yourself: Or I mean- You can have it all! (no negatives!)
You CAN have it all of you want….The idea that we are supposed to suffer and life is hard is wrong-Although there are difficult times for all of us -those are usually very important times for our transformation and growth as people-and some difficulty cannot be avoided. However- most of our lives are a reflection of our thoughts-and manifesting is a great way to learn to control your thoughts, figure out what it is you REALY want and bring that to you.
The Sky is the limit–no matter what I encourage you to live with that belief. Nothing is too good-no achievement is too high of an honor-no love or prosperity is too great for you.
Why don’t you deserve it all?
Why do they deserve happiness more than you?
Why are we so scared to be happy? Tough question–but why do we punish ourselves? Who says you can’t be whatever you want to be?
Remember–whether you think you can-or think you can’t–You are RIGHT.
Be open to anything in manifestations and predictions-Don’t say “well I wanted to be nurse-I will not be a famous singer though I do love singing” -you can doubt me-I had someone yesterday tell me they just booked a trip to Europe-and she can’t believe I was right. In her 3 readings I said I saw her going to Europe by this summer and every time she said she didn’t believe me one bit. You never know. And I’ve had people say “I have no plans to go there-you’re wrong”….Just wait!
If you had told me-in 2005-that in 2009 I would be seeing a little hobby turned business I began for free turning into a career-from an online website-as a PSYCHIC-I would have NEVER believed you. I would have thought you were nuts! Me??
I was like most-putting myself down–and thinking it was conceited or rude to believe I deserved the best.
If you had told me I would have producers contacting me-about a reality show-based on my work-I would have said you were more than nuts–and completely ignored your prediction-but wanted it to be true.
I couldn’t be that kind to myself–to believe I could deserve good like that or recognition for anything-though I secretly dreamed of being my own boss and healing people-and enrolled in Acupuncture school to heal others but-I never thought it would be what I have today-and I never thought I would have such an amazing business this young-of my own creation!
You Never Know What Could Happen-Life is Funny-Just go with the flow and Make it GOOD funny! Life can work for you-or against you and you decide which way it goes….
The less you try to control and more you believe in good and trust the universe-the easier life is.
I never really have had plans–my life plan since I was young has been to study–learn–and focus on topics I love–with the belief its bound to take me somewhere good and create a happy life. My college degree-Masters degree-are both unused now-and I was often asked what I would do with a Bachelor in Anthropology and History-and I said “Who knows-but I like it”-enjoying what we do is one of the most important ways to bring positivity to you. If you love what you do-it will succeed eventually. A Chinese Proverb Parsons lived by to measure success was- “If you feel like quitting for good- you’re probably almost there!”For finding careers- I always recommend beginning with your favorite hobby or topic to read about and starting there. Bill Parsons-multimillionaire and CEO of 7 different companies he founded from scratch that are all billion dollar companies now-says this in his rules for success. He liked computers, motorcycles and “hot chicks “and found a way to incorporate all 3 into his business and says the only way to succeed is if you love what you do. He has made 7 businesses succeed based on this theory-and is an admired entrepreneur. I’m finding how true that is–love and passion make one business succeed over another without it. I just needed to take limits off of myself -which most of you do too.
Your first list may have a job as a manager of a bank–your third–as CEO.
It can happen-you can have it all.
You NEVER know what can happen for you-life works in funny ways…
–I would have never believed I’d be writing for Cheri’s blog-when I got a prediction from her in 2007-when I wasn’t ttc, had no plans to ttc-and had no clue how gifted I was as a psychic-I just felt drawn to her site. And I got a prediction with no plans to ttc for 10 years–and continued with those plans–but my little feeling someone had other plans was right.
Somehow Miles made his way here–a year after her prediction which was right just a different year-and really surprising too since we thought we had that prevented-but things rearranged themselves to allow Miles to come-and although I had my site up for 6 months before I became pregnant with him-my pregnancy took my abilities to a new level-and from this I found my true calling and am doing what I never dreamed I could do.
Do I care that I just spent 130,000$ on student loans and worked my tail off for 4 years in graduate school to drop out one semester short (most likely this is my last)?
No-I feel lucky I got to do something I enjoy will discovering my true calling and I learned so much that helps me with my wok.
Stop wanting to be someone else or trying for “Perfect”:
You will feel a million times better when you stop comparing yourself to others.
I have a lot of work to do-on myself-on my life-we all do. I’m nowhere close to perfect-but–you know what? Perfection is boring. Who likes perfect? We are all perfect-and our lives are perfect-as they are….because everything is timed and planned and will have meaning someday….We rarely let ourselves be happy with our lives–to be proud of yourself.
Stop beating yourself up-and comparing yourself to others–
Just say- I’m good for now and proud of myself.
We are all works in progress-but trusting in a good and a positive future-and believing you deserve the best-while treating others well (as you would like to be) and manifesting with no limits-
Will make your dreams come true. …..
And that’s my Manifesting 101 blog!
I think I covered enough loll!! I hope it helped to see some different techniques I tried and what held me back–and what helped me move forward-and how POWERFUL it can be-when done right.
I wanted to tackle the importance of a few basics-and reinforce that you do not limit yourself.
Any technique recommended by Cheri or anyone else you like is a great idea-I suggest trying different things and seeing what brings fast results.
If you don’t have experience with manifesting yet-maybe starts with something small-like “I find a dollar somewhere every day.” I know people who find hundreds of dollars on the ground–all the time-but started with a dollar which is something believable. You could also look for feathers-which are messages from angels and a great way to start.
Seeing it work for you is the best way to keep it working for you-because then you believe.
Thank You! If you have any questions about manifesting, my readings or healings-or anything-my email is email@example.com
and my website is Lovelightandinsight.net.
And remember–YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL!!! Why shouldn’t you? Why should anyone else–but not you? Believe this–that you deserve the best–because you do.
Start seeing yourself as the gift that you are-and love you first and foremost. The more you love yourself-the more you will find love and abundance around you-and loving people supporting you. Manifestations become bigger and better the more love you are surrounded with.
If you take anything from this–just know that you do bring things to you and if you are trying to manifest your divine compliment or happiness–it has to start with you loving you.
I’ll leave you with some of my favorite affirmations to say since it is all encompassing-say this 1 time or 100 times day-days when I recite my affirmations in the morning are always better days filled with more magic.
I at least ask you to look in the mirror and say “I love you” every day this week (I know I know–cheesy–but we are so cruel to ourselves-I would know)…..
So-a favorite affirmation of my clients-
“I am happy, healthy, powerful and abundant. I am love, light, wisdom and healing energy. Everyday-in every way-my life gets better and better. ” It will become true for you.
Love and Light to You:
Lovelightandinsight.com or .net
Thank you!!!!!!! See you next time!